Meeting Hardship

I had an unexpected occurrence just before heading to the cafeteria for
lunch here. I was finishing up some work when I heard someone speaking
English down the hallway. A few moments later a tired-looking white
woman with long graying hair and a somewhat rugged jacket came to my
office. She had been talking to our receptionist, so when she asked me
if she could have 2 minutes of my time, I thought she was somehow
involved at our center. I invited her to sit down and she began,
nervously, to introduce herself as Barbara and tell her story. It didn't
take me long to figure out where it was heading. About a minute into her
talk, she showed me a picture of her two kids, so I figured she was soon
going to ask me for money (and I admit I was pretty annoyed at the
concept of a stranger coming to my office to hit me up for cash).
However, with some dignity, she explained that she was trained in
agricultural engineering back in her native Hungary, and her husband,
who had worked as a civil servant with the Ministry of Agriculture in
the past, was now training in Kenya on a scholarship. She was looking
for work while he was away and said she would even be happy to do even
office work if there was any to be had. I told her politely that this
center is for water supply technology and, although agriculture uses
water, we train people to drill 150 meter wells, not produce food and
that I didn't have any advice for her. She continued that she had been
living with relatives of her husband's nearby, and then, looking rather
desperate and her heart pounding, apologizing profusely, she, finally,
did ask me if she could have some money to buy food for her children.
She seemed sane but at her wits end. She didn't seem like a schemer,
although she had a "sob story". But I could see how being a foreigner
here didn't seem to be making things any easier for her. She had, in a
sense, gone native by marrying an Ethiopian man, having kids and living
here for the past 8 years or so, but wasn't accepted at all as an
Ethiopian by anyone, so she seemed to have no real support system. So I
leveled with her and I told her that, really, she shouldn't have even
been let into the front gate and if she came here again she would
probably be ejected. Then I explained to her that people are struggling
here at our center too; that the extreme inflation Ethiopia is now
experiencing is causing our staff just as much trouble. As I walked her
to the door, however, I did give her some cash that I had (equivalent to
what I spent on dinner last night), and wished her good luck, shaking
her hand. She thanked me profusely, and then quickly headed out with her
head down.
I remember when I was about 15, I got duped by some woman in Chicago who
said she needed $5 to get home, or some such story she had concocted. I
wasn't old enough to know that scam then, and although it was only $5, I
ended up being short $3 for my own train ride home that evening. Not
realizing the ticket office was open, I bought a ticket on the train,
which costs double in that case. At a complete loss, with an angry
conductor looking like he wanted to throw me off at the next stop, a
kind African-American couple interceded and lent me the money to pay the
conductor. I did what I could and thanked them profusely, and they
responded, "Don't worry about it. Really, that conductor was a complete
jerk."
I generally don't give cash handouts when there are other ways to help a
person, but as in my experience on the train, sometimes it is money that
a person needs. I'm not cold and heartless to the point that I can't
help someone who is obviously in dire straits and trying to make ends
meet with her dignity in tact. If I had known of a job opportunity for
her, maybe I would have tried to do something more (although I doubt she
had a resume hidden in her coat). So I did what I could do and gave her
some cash hoping that she'll make the most of it, and that eventually
Barbara finds a solution to her current troubles.